Childbirthing Awareness

Last night Mr. Morgan and I attended our first of four childbirthing awareness classes offered at the hospital where we'll be delivering. Our teacher was great; she was completely self-effacing, warm, friendly, and completely without shame or apology for her life story, her appearance, or her subject matter. There were probably 20 other couples in the class with us, and most of us are due in June and July.

One mother-to-be in the class was interesting: She talked a lot, and volunteered lots of information about her experiences. Mr. Morgan said it was like she was drinking--the further into the class we got, the more frequently she shared anecdotes and the longer her sharing times became. As we rode home and I thought about all the things she said throughout the class, I decided she is a female "Dwight."

After our breathing exercises, Female Dwight told us she'd have no trouble breathing during the pain of labor because of her "six years of meditation." She then volunteered that she'd had "leg trauma." I think we were to assume that her leg trauma would help her breathe through pain. She also mentioned her martial arts experiences, saying "My martial arts instructor is always getting on to me about this and that."

When we discussed the uncomfortable symptoms of pregnancy, everyone shouted out some examples: swollen feet, heartburn, trouble sleeping, etc. Female Dwight said she had really bad heartburn, and that her mother said it was because she was short. The teacher conceded having a short torso could possibly make heartburn a bit worse. Then Female Dwight said, "I'm five-foot-two. He's six-foot-one (thumbs to the right at her husband). You do the math."